How Do I Stay So Positive?

22 July 2017


Ask anyone who knows me, I'm a positive person. Even in the darkest situations, I always like to make people laugh or get them to see the silver linings. And I really enjoy writing positive posts, because I truly see a difference in those who I share them with, and I can see other people beginning to think positive, so I thought I'd write a little about how I manage to stay positive like .... 97.5% of the time.

The first thing is that I've dealt with really bad anxiety. I've been at a point where I'd be working and become so overwhelmed by being surrounded by too many people that I'd hide under a desk in an office and just cry. But what's genuinely helped me is wrapping my mind around the idea that... It doesn't matter. In the grand scheme of everything, it doesn't matter. Sure, whatever is on your mind seems important at the time, but can I remember everything that's set my anxiety off in my 23 years of existence? No. The only things that I do remember are the things that I had control over. Which brings me to my next point.

You can't control everything. Are you on a bus that's running late? Phone in. You have no control over it. This has happened to me so often it's unreal, even when I've opted for the earlier bus (literally happened to me today, I was pissed.) but you've just gotta remember that some things are out of your control. Pay more attention to the things you are able to control instead.

Not everything is bad. I'm a person who thinks that knowing the worst case scenario can really help me along, but this is probably one of the worst things that I could do. It's just the last part in my MH recovery, but, the worst isn't always yet to come. Gearing yourself up for the worst case scenario is more likely to encourage the worst case scenario. It's really true what they say; think positive, and reap the rewards.

I like to twist situations in my mind. I like finding a positive to make anything negative balance out. This is probably because I really like things to be even and balanced, and so finding the positive side satisfies that need. It's really difficult at first, but eventually it just becomes second nature. I think talking to people and forcing myself ot talk to new people helped a lot in that too.

When I talk to people, I like to pick something positive to say, with my aim being to make somebody smile. I've told countless customers that their hair was nice or that I liked their top/blouse/outfit/whatever and it's always a genuine compliment, which I think is what makes that person believe me. This is an important point, if you want to try and do this yourself, never give false compliments, because they're easy to identify. I like to think that spreading positivity encourages positivity, almost like good things come to those who wait. I like exerting positive energy, because it impacts on those around me and generally develops a nice, relaxing environment where good things happen. Which always helps.

I treat myself every so often. Quite often. Too often. I'm supposed to be saving money so I can go travelling but every so often I get really, really sad, and that's when I'm most likely to spend something. I allow myself to do this without feeling guilt, though, because how I feel is important. I've burned a hole in my pocket before with wreckless purchases but now, it's all about what makes me feel happy. New comic? Buying it. New pop vinyl? Getting it. New clothing item? I'll walk around the store weighing up how often I'll wear it before I walk to the check out. It's all about balance.

That's my theme. Bad days are still going to happen, of course they are. But we need the bad days in order to learn from them, and the world is all about balance. You get what you give, so to speak. And that gets me through each day. I try my hardest not to dwell on the negatives, because that's draining, and what can be more encouraging than having something positive to strive for? To fight for? I stay positive by faking positivity, and by doing that over a period of time so that it's become second nature to me. I realised that the small moments don't always matter and that if I can't control a sitation, then why should I dwell on it? I try to focus only on the situations I have control over, and push to make each moment count. But, I don't forget to treat myself, and look after myself on the days that aren't so good. We're only human, we feel emotion, so we're likely to encounter sadness every once in a while, which is a good thing, because sometimes, it helps us see the world from a new, non-rose tinted perspective, which allows you to learn new things about yourself.

This was a long read, I'm not entirely sure I was coherent so I apologise if I rambled on a little bit. Like I said, being positive has taken me a while to master, but I feel a lot happier since I did it. And it doesn't take much to do, the easiest step is just to compliment at least one stranger every day, and the rest will come naturally.

How do you stay positive?

Until next time, be excellent to each other.

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