Let's Talk: What's Been On My Mind

22 August 2017


I've decided to have another semi-serious post today because y'know, I'm super srs lyk dat, yo.

I've had a lot on my mind recently, so I hope you're okay with me just typing some things out for you.

I've been quite stressed out lately. I'm going to be starting a new job a week today and I'm just so nervous. I'm going to be one of the first people of a brand new team, in a brand new store, which is a lot closer to where I live, offers more hours but will be a (small) drop in my hourly wage, which is okay, and I can live with. But I'm worried about it. I have really amazing friendships with everyone that I currently work with, and the thought of leaving them just makes me feel really sad. Additionally, I'm going to have to make new friendships with the people I'm now going to work with, and I can only hope that I get along well with them half as well as my current team. (But, what if I don't?)

I've also been feeling really lonely again. It's a common feeling, and I've pretty much had it since I moved to my uni accommodation, never mind where I live now. I don't really have any friends where I live at the moment, so I spend most of my time online... But my online friends all have their own little lives as well, and I'm always worried that I'm annoying, and so I've felt myself slowly losing contact with numerous people. Sometimes I try to start a conversation, but I don't really hold it because I'm just so lost with myself and why would anybody want to talk to me when I don't find myself that interesting?

Then, there's my blog. I love my blog, and I'm proud of it. But recently, I've started watching my numbers (I know. I shouldn't do that, but I have nothing else to do.) I've noticed that my monthly page views have definitely been on the rise since about May this year, and absolutely since I began posting twice a week... That is, until this month, where my progress has slowed. I'm worried that my blog topics are no longer of interest to anybody, and I'm trying to think of new things to do or write to entice people to read my blog, or to read more, because I have a lot that I know I can say, but because I've been feeling so down about a lot of personal things, my motivation isn't quite there. I've started writing my posts 1-2 days before it goes live, and taking the pictures at 8am on the day

I've also been severely dehydrated recently. I've found myself needing to constantly have a drink in my hand, and even then I've not been drinking enough. I've been waking up in the middle of the night desperate for a drink of water, so I've had water sat beside my bed. I carry an 850ml or 1L bottle of water with me everywhere I go, so that I always have some with me when I need it. Being so dehydrated has caused me to get tired more quickly, and I've had a lot more headaches while I've been at work, which hasn't been fun. I've also been waking up in pain, and on Sunday, I was in the most pain I've been in for a little while. I don't talk about that pain enough. I'm not sure if it's been caused by a lack of water, or if I was jaundiced. Either way, I hope it doesn't come back, because it was horrid.

I'm basically not very happy at the moment. I feel really sad, stressed and lonely and I'm going through a lot of change in my personal life as well as a few things in my health. I hope you were okay with letting me type my thoughts out, and please let me know in the comments if there's anything you'd like to see me write about, so I know what interests all of you.

Have a good week and until next time, be excellent to each other.

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